Poetry
"Black Questions"
By Jasmine Harris
By Jasmine Harris
Can someone?
Can someone tell me why I buried my brother today?
Tell me why I was clawing at the casket trying to capture our last moment?
I couldn’t look away.
Couldn’t tell you the number of times
I begged him to be careful.
Couldn’t tell you the number of times
I was fearful.
Our calculators could only count so high
and as high as we used to get just to get by,
just comprehend how we had lost another friend.
We didn’t have the space to lose him, a hole deepening within
Cause I would lead 1000 squared troops into war over you,
cause I would teach a class telling our story just to get through
to a generation tryna be realer than the next,
tryna get bodied and buried as if street cred cashed life insurance checks,
as if the burden laid on moms wasn’t heavier than that casket.
I keep asking,
Can someone tell me why I buried another son?
You see, I poured into him from my empty cup
‘cause my glass was passed as if the cracks glistening were silver and I had enough luck.
Thought I cried enough tears,
thought I lost enough.
I keep telling the universe I am not that tough.
I cannot endure,
continuing to give hope when even hope is unsure
that the seeds I have sown will flourish before the fields set flame
and ablaze.
My soul is on fire as I stand in hell.
Can someone tell?
Can someone tell me why I lost hope?
Why I’ve been grasping onto threads like this was the rope
that could pull us all up,
could supply us all with silver spoons and china-ed cups?
Yet I put the mask on my face,
hell we all do as a race,
cause no one can answer our questions...
Can someone tell me why I buried my brother today?
Tell me why I was clawing at the casket trying to capture our last moment?
I couldn’t look away.
Couldn’t tell you the number of times
I begged him to be careful.
Couldn’t tell you the number of times
I was fearful.
Our calculators could only count so high
and as high as we used to get just to get by,
just comprehend how we had lost another friend.
We didn’t have the space to lose him, a hole deepening within
Cause I would lead 1000 squared troops into war over you,
cause I would teach a class telling our story just to get through
to a generation tryna be realer than the next,
tryna get bodied and buried as if street cred cashed life insurance checks,
as if the burden laid on moms wasn’t heavier than that casket.
I keep asking,
Can someone tell me why I buried another son?
You see, I poured into him from my empty cup
‘cause my glass was passed as if the cracks glistening were silver and I had enough luck.
Thought I cried enough tears,
thought I lost enough.
I keep telling the universe I am not that tough.
I cannot endure,
continuing to give hope when even hope is unsure
that the seeds I have sown will flourish before the fields set flame
and ablaze.
My soul is on fire as I stand in hell.
Can someone tell?
Can someone tell me why I lost hope?
Why I’ve been grasping onto threads like this was the rope
that could pull us all up,
could supply us all with silver spoons and china-ed cups?
Yet I put the mask on my face,
hell we all do as a race,
cause no one can answer our questions...
